The Downfalls of Snooping Snape's
by Emra3
Summary: Everyone's experienced having a song stuck in their head, but what about Snape? A short one-shot to amuse. ;p


"Damn it." The curse was whispered harshly, reaching only the ears of the resident Headmaster. The rest of the Great Hall munched on in ignorance.

"Professor? Is everything all right?" The query nicely enough given, was gifted with a pained scowl. The Potions Master was not amused.

"That… that... that _child,_ has the most _horrifying_ mind. Its… ugh… nightmarish." The usually stoic man, once again grimaced in pain.

"And how have you come to know his mind Severus?" The Headmaster looked genuinely concerned.

"I was… ah… practicing my legilimency?" Snape knew better than to lie to Dumbledore. "Weasley, has a...a... _song_ playing in his head and now, it's in mine."

At this the Headmaster had the temerity to smile. "Oh? And what song could possibly give you such a reaction?"

Snape muttered an answer.

"I'm sorry my good friend, I didn't catch that."

"The Barbie girl song."

"Oh, how wonderful. I'm afraid I'm rather partial to it. _I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wooorld-"_

"Yes." He hissed. "That one and now, the horrid things stuck in my head." The Professors head started bobbing slightly, to music only he could hear. Almost immediately, his eyes widened in absolute panic and his hands tightened their grip on his cutlery. "If the Dark Lord calls me... Albus...he's going to hear it. I'll be dead. Tomorrow morning you shall wake up to find my body murdered. Did I tell you what happened to Evans? No? Well, he had 'Baby' by Justin Bieber stuck in his head and the next day when the Dark Lord couldn't get rid of it from his, he killed Smith! Over a song! Goodbye Albus, I have sometimes enjoyed your company." Snape looked dramatically into the distance, as if imagining his very demise.

"I'm very touched Severus. I always wondered if you did actually like me." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled madly.

Snape looked vaguely annoyed. "Come off it old man, I'll be dead tomorrow. Doesn't your Gryffindor heart even care?"

"Now now Severus, I think you're being a bit overdramatic. I'm sure you'll be fine. You may not even be called tonight, so you can enjoy the blissful beauty of the song." Dumbledore started humming the tune quietly.

"That's it. I hope you're happy Albus. You better start searching for a new Potions Master because you, you personally, just killed him. You, Weasley and the song. Congratulations. Now if you don't mind, I shall be in my rooms, listening to some proper music before I die. Maybe I should even start arranging my funeral as I'm sure you'll turn it into a party. Farewell Headmaster, I hope we never meet in Heaven."

With that he took one longing glance at his food, he wasn't going to be needing food tomorrow so it didn't matter. He pulled back his chair, took a sweeping glance around the hall and recognised to himself, that no, he would never miss this. He swept out the room, his black robes billowing around him.

* * *

"Ah Severus, so good of you to join us this morning. I'm glad to see you're still in the land of the living." Snape plonked down on the seat next to the Headmaster and took a sip of his black coffee. He shot a baleful glance at his companion and stared at the table, as if by his glare he could summon breakfast.

"No comment then? Well I am glad your evening turned out alright in the end." Dumbledore twinkled his eyes merrily, then quietly began singing. _"I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world..."_

Snape's head colliding with the wooden table made a surprisingly loud bang. His groan of utter misery however, was only picked up by the singing Headmaster and McGonagall, who just looked at them curiously.

* * *

AN: I sincerely apologise to all those who now have that song stuck in their heads. If it's any consolation it's stuck in mine now too. ;p

I'd been revising for exams but things have calmed down again so I'll try and update The Novelist Prankster soon. This was just a little story that was niggling at me.

Anywho, again, I apologise for any discomfort caused by the song. ;p

Hope you enjoyed. :)


End file.
